My life as a mermaid in an Ocean of Love.
a metaphor for my spiritual journey. + an invitation to join me in a weekly reflection practice. + some updates.
Dear Kindred Spirit,
I hope this letter finds you well. This is a reposting of something that I wrote a year or so ago and received the most encouraging response. Sharing it again to give it a home on Substack.
For a while, I've been wanting to share my spiritual journey with you, but not sure how. Like anyone's story, it's complicated, detailed, specific, and personal. However, I know that there is power in sharing our stories - for both, tellers and listeners. So, this is me, being vulnerable and brave.....
THIS is the best way that I know how to share my story:
I was born a mermaid.
I swam in an Ocean of Love. It surrounded me, soaked into my skin, filled my lungs. I was in Love and Love was in me.
The nearest sea vessel to me was a beautiful, enormous, ancient ship. Gilded and ornate. In my youth, I swam along side it, coming aboard from time to time. I learned their language and customs. I can still remember the smells and sounds, the beauty of that ship.
A season came when I was carried away from that ship and out to Sea again. I spent several years drifting. Feeling alone and afraid. Unaware of the Love that carried me - protecting and loving me all along.
Eventually, I encountered another sea vessel. An enormous, modern cruising ship. Shiny and new. Bright banners of welcome. Full of energy and music and travelers of all kinds. I boarded this ship with wide eyes, full of wonder.
Hungry for belonging, I eagerly learned and adopted their ways. I exchanged my mermaid tail for legs. I scrubbed the decks. I polished the brass. I welcomed new travelers as they came aboard. Whatever was asked of me, I said yes. Yes yes yes.
The belonging I craved was always just out of reach… but my fear of exile kept me on board the ship for 20 years.
The last few years on that ship were spent at the guardrail - gazing out at the horizon. Sometimes I would secretly slip into the Sea for a moment, but would quickly return to the ship. I heard the message many times: Stay on the ship! The sea is dangerous and full of monsters. Stay with us, stay like us - it is the only way to stay safe.
But the call of the Sea was too great. This ship wasn’t my home. My skin was still salty and my limbs felt heavy. Each step I took on my strange legs grew increasingly painful. The customs, the language, the music - all of it began to feel foreign and uncomfortable. My mermaid-self was waking up and her heart was aching.
The day came when I inhaled a deep breath of courage -held it- then exhaled all of the air from my lungs and dove into the Sea. I immediately felt a wave of relief and rest as my mermaid tail returned and I no longer had to fight gravity to move. I dove to the depths and felt the cool silence in and around my body. I floated on the surface and listened to the waves and birds. At night, the stars twinkled brightly, away from the lights of the ship. The moon sang a silent lullaby. For the first time in so long, I felt the ease of being myself - true belonging! I felt Love embracing me, supporting me.
I had no plan. Perhaps I’d be alone out here forever? Perhaps I’ll encounter other mermaids? Whatever the future held, I felt no fear. The Sea reminded me of Her promise that all shall be well.
(I could faintly hear the cries from the ship: Don’t go! You’ll drown! You’ll be eaten! - but the wind and the seagulls carried the sound peacefully away from me.)
Freely floating in the Sea of Love, I was surprised to spot another ship in the distance. It was different from any other ship I had encountered. Ancient, beautiful, quiet and graceful. My curiosity called me toward it. I kept my distance, and observed. The sounds and smells, the rhythms I witnessed reminded me of the ship of my youth, but much smaller and simpler. For a long time, I circled this ship, unsure of what my attraction to it meant. I never thought I’d board a ship again. But this one feels different. I feel different.
. . .
For almost a year, I have been quietly boarding this ship. There is a peaceful rhythm here. It feels so soothing. I partake in and enjoy their customs. I even lend a hand from time to time.
But, I remain a mermaid and I always return to the Sea at the end of the day - my true home.
Meanwhile, I am noticing more and more mermaid-kindred-spirit friends in the waters around me. We swim and explore the Sea of Love together, laughing and playing, sharing and listening. We are each unique and beautiful - each saturated with Love’s presence.
This story isn’t over. I’m only halfway through my journey - who knows what adventures await me on ..and in.. this Sea of Love. Wherever the Sea takes me, I go freely and bravely - enjoying my True Belonging with the Sea, my Self, and the Kindred Spirits I meet along the way.
Some journal prompts for you to consider:
What is it like for you to consider God as an Ocean of Love?
Or is there another metaphor that resonates with you?
Where do you see yourself in the Ocean of Love? (on a boat, in the open water, etc)
What is that like for you?
Join me in a weekly Examen practice...
Some of you have expressed to me a desire and willingness to financially support the work that I offer here saying things like:
I really want to support you Melissa because you’re creative and lovely and I feel connected to your gifts which open my heart to seeing myself with new eyes and that’s scary but in a super duper way and very important in order to grow.
My journaling practice has been a huge gift in my journey and I’m so grateful for the connection with others who are also journaling and I am inspired by your creativity and willingness to invite others in. Thank you!
This means so much to me!! I love this work of creating space for curiosity and creativity for us to explore the Beauty in and around us. I love that you meet me here and you get it! Seriously- as an Enneagram type 4, to be seen and understood is the greatest gift! THANK YOU!
Substack allows me to turn on an option for you to support me for $8 a month, if you wish. As a thank you, I want to offer you some special gifties…. starting with:
For the season of Lent (the weeks leading up to Easter), I will be sending you a short video practice of the Prayer of Examen every Sunday. The Prayer of Examen is a practice developed by St Ignatius of Loyola in the 16th century. It is designed to help us to notice and reflect on the presence of God/Love/Beauty in our lives. Of course, in this space, we will turn it into a creative journaling practice!
If you’d like to explore this practice with me, starting this coming Sunday, click here to upgrade your subscription:
I have lots of other ideas and practices to share with you! I can’t wait.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your support. Whether you choose to join me as a paid subscriber or to remain as a free subscriber, I appreciate your presence immensely! “Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.” -Anne of Green Gables
I saved you a seat:
Every Monday, many of us have been gathering to journal together on Zoom. If you’re desiring to make your journaling practice more of a practice, one proven way is to step into the gentle accountability of joining others on a regular basis. We are here for you! This is a FREE, unstructured time of journaling together with some quiet music for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, you have the option to stick around for some light chatting with some friends from around the globe. Come sit with us! Did I mention, it’s FREE?
Kindred Journaling Circle Update:
Checking in with you on the Kindred Journaling Circle that is currently happening. This week will be our 3rd of 6 weeks. It has been AMAZING! We are enjoying different Vivio Divina journaling practices and having THE. MOST. LOVELY Spiritual Direction conversations after. Stay tuned for information on the NEXT round. I’d love to have you join us.
Inspired Travel Journal Update:
Are you making plans for spring and summer travel? Maybe you're thinking ahead for graduation and wedding gifts? It’s time to stock up on some Inspired Travel Journals: part travel planner, part guided journal, part scrapbook, they’re the perfect travel companion and keepsake. With each trip, you can fill out a new journal and grow your library! NOW AVAILABLE: You can purchase a bundle of 4 books + a beautiful, custom printed roll of washi tape to decorate your pages for just $100. Also, each journal comes with access to a digital goodie bag! Get yours TODAY and start dreaming of where you’ll go next!
I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, floating in an Ocean of Love! May it soak into your skin and bones and soul until you realize that Love is in you as much as you are in Love. Nothing can separate you from Love’s presence.
Love,
Melissa
I love this post...I want to be a mermaid too!🧜♀️