My Ignatian Pilgrimage, part 1/3

My BFF Saint Ignatius, a daily art practice, and an invitation to more!

Dearest Kindred Spirit,

I have been on an adventure! Not just the past few weeks, but for the past nine months. Have you heard of the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius?

Me + my bestie, Saint Ignatius of Loyola, in Montserrat, Spain.

500 years ago, my dear friend¹ Ignatius of Loyola had a conversion experience where he discovered the power of using his imagination in prayer. By noticing the movements of his spirit when he imagined different stories and scenarios, he learned to follow the Spirit of God toward a life of greater Faith, Hope, and Love.

This led Ignatius to Montserrat, Spain where he laid down his sword before a statue of the Virgin Mary and renounced his wealth and privilege. He then walked to Manresa, Spain where he tucked himself into a cave and wrote what is now called, The Spiritual Exercises. The Exercises are designed to essentially guide a person through the life of Jesus, using one’s imagination, for the purpose of greater intimacy with God and for the discernment of one’s calling in the world.

Ignatius designed the Exercises to be a month-long immersive experience. Today, The Exercises are most often offered by trained Spiritual Directors over a period of nine months. We call it “a retreat in daily life.” This is what I just completed.

I have been meeting with Sara for spiritual direction for about nine years. The past several years, she has walked alongside me as I journeyed through a deconstruction and decolonization of my faith. All of my old ways of experiencing God were no longer working. More like: the walls that contained my perception of God came down all around me and my view and experience of God e x p a n d e d in every direction. I read a lot of poetry. I contemplated the wonders of the universe. I marveled at life. I came to a place where I could sense the enormity and the overwhelming Beauty of God. God felt like an endless Ocean and I was floating effortlessly within it. Honestly, it felt perfectly peaceful and wonderful.

However, after a few years, I began to miss Jesus. The Creator and the Spirit felt amazing, but I began to crave the grounding presence of Jesus- like an Anchor in a Sea of Love and Beauty.

Having experienced the Exercises several years ago, I knew what I needed. Talking with Sara, we agreed that it was time² to enter in again.

Ahhhhh, my friend. How I have loved the past nine months. It was EXACTLY what I needed. What surprised and delighted me the most was that I was able to hold on to the expansive WONDER that I had enjoyed these recent years AND hold the hand of Jesus in a way that felt so fresh and new.

A special element that unfolded for me in the Exercises was to create a mini collage each (most) days after my prayer & journaling session. With an open mind, I would flip through magazines in search of images or a story of images that could express the thesis of my prayers that day. I released myself from perfectionism and allowed the Spirit to show me the images I needed for the day. Often (with an eye on the clock, to be honest) I would set myself the boundary of only looking in just one magazine. I’ve long wanted to be able to call myself an artist. (Imposter syndrome said that I wasn’t ___ enough to use that title.) This was a perfect practice for me to shake that off and experiment with making art daily.

So how did all of this lead to me going to Spain earlier this month?

It wasn’t long into the Exercises that I KNEW that I needed to enter into the training to be able to lead others in this practice. I’ve been practicing as a Spiritual Director for eight years but haven’t felt the strong pull to train to be an Ignatian Director. Sara saw it in me (she always does) and encouraged me to apply to Sustainable Faith’s School of Spiritual Exercises Accompaniment (the Europe/UK cohort… again, because Sara knows me well!)

Since I was already heading to England for my initial training cohort, what if I met up with Sara in Spain and we did a little Ignatian pilgrimage to celebrate the end of my Exercises? Umm…. Yes, please!

In my next two emails, I’ll share with you pictures and stories from Montserrat, Manresa, and Barcelona Spain. Including what brought me to a break down of ugly tears… and the sweet comfort and Presence I experienced in the midst of it. I’ll also share pictures from the beautiful little English village retreat house and my Ted Lasso fan-girl moment.

If you read this all the way through - you are amazing!! In the comments, let me know - have you journeyed through the Exercises? What was your experience like??

Love,

Melissa

1. I highly recommend the charming and creative biography of St Ignatius, Just Call Me Lopez by Margaret Silf.

2. The Exercises aren’t for everyone or for every season. A conversation with your Spiritual Director will help you discern the timing.